Untouchable Donkeys.

I know you’ve all been in this situation before: You are playing in a NL cash game when an Established Donkey (ED) sits down at the table. You’ve seen the guy play losing session after losing session and cannot wait to get into a pot with him and bust her/him. The only problem is it is a donkey that regardless of how well you play against, (s)he somehow always hits the right card to beat you when you are playing heads up against him/her. I found myself in this situation the other night at Caesar’s.

In order to keep this man’s anonymity, I’ll refer to this guy as ED (established donkey). ED loves to play Pot Limit Omaha at Caesar’s and has probably dropped $250k over the last 2 years playing in that game. He is just plain terrible and likes to gamble. Like any other donkey, he does when an occasional pot, and much to my dismay, it feels like he wins about 90% of the pots he plays against me.

For instance, I don’t play that much PLO, especially at Caesar’s since the game plays soooo big, but one day when my bankroll was really healthy, I decided to sit down. I only bought in with $1500 lost a few small pots so that I only had $1200 left when I woke up to AAxx suited in the big blind.

A few people, including ED, limp in for $25/player so when the action gets to me, I raise the POT. Everyone folds, except for ED, who calls my raise. So here I am, in perfect position, heads up against a premiere donkey and the flop comes A-4-9 rainbow. YAHTZEE!! I am thinking to myself. I got this donk right where I want him. I lead out with a $250 pot-sized bet. ED calls.

The turn comes a harmless 5 of clubs. I bet the POT again — ~$600 and ED, of course, calls leaving me with ~$400 to bet on the river. The river comes a 3 of hearts, so there is no flush, but the new nuts is a straight. I bet out the rest of my stack anyway, and ED says in a slow, southern dialect, “I call, I got the nuts and he shows me his 6-7-K-Q.” A straight to the f’in 7.

I tell ED nice hand, but in the back of my mind I am cursing him to death. How can this mother$%^&* call pot-sized bets heads up all the way to the river and get there????

OK, let’s fast-forward about 6 months later to a 2-5 NL game at Caesar’s, IN, and who shows up?? None other than ED himself, and he sits down in the same 2-5 NL game that I am in. It’s payback time, right?

I’m in a pot with ED and I have limped in with K9s in late position. ED had position on me as he is the button. The flop comes J-9-A rainbow and it is checked to me so I bet the pot, $30, and ED is the only person that calls. The turn comes a K so now I have 2 pair and I bet the pot again, $100 this time. ED calls.

The river comes a 7 and there is no flush out, there, but the straight was possible. I checked and ED bets out $250. Now I have a decision to make so I start asking myself questions:
1) Is this guy dumb enough to call two pot-sized bets to make a straight or a set of 7’s? YES

1. Will he bluff at the pot with nothing? YES, I had seen him in this same session bluff off $800 in chips
2. Do I hate ED? YES, this is a question that should not have come into play in making my decision to call or fold, but nonetheless, the question did enter my head.

After thinking about it, I decide to call with my two-pair, and ED of course shows me 8T for a Jack high straight.

I guess the lessons learned here is two-fold. 1) There is no justice in poker and 2) There are some donkeys that you just have to know you cannot beat.

If anyone has any suggestions on how I could have played either of the above two hands in a better fashion, I’d like to hear them. I played them the best that I could…..

Aaron Kaelin
9-26-06

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