T.J. Cloutier Rips Off Head Of Amateur Who Credited T.J.’s Book for Horrible Play

LAS VEGAS, NV: Author and poker legend T.J. Cloutier is currently being held in police custody following a spectacular incident in which T.J. literally ripped the head off of an amateur player.

Sources report that the incident occurred during a $2,000.00 buyin NL tournament held at the Bellagio at approximately 10:53 PM. T.J. reportedly fired a massive raise preflop with Ad Ac and was called by amateur player Harold Maksetniks, who was holding 9c 6c. The flop came 6d Js 2c and T.J., first to act, quickly moved all in.

The now deceased Maksteniks called almost instantly, according to onlookers, and pumped his fist in the air when a 9d hit on the turn. The situation was already tense with Cloutier, a former professional football player of considerable size and strength, shaking his head and muttering disgustedly under his breath. Then Maksteniks uttered what would ultimately be his final words:

“Sorry T.J. – but I love your book. It taught me everything I know.”

Accounts vary on the events that followed Maksteniks fatal utterance, but most agree that Cloutier sat straight up, stared grimly at Maksteniks for about five seconds, then lunged across the table. Before Maksteniks could even react, Cloutier grabbed the amateur’s head one hand to each side, gripped tightly, and yanked upward with massive force. According to preliminary reports from the Las Vegas coroner’s office, Maksteniks skull was separated cleanly from his spinal cord and all surrounding tissue connecting the head to the body was completely severed.

At press time, Cloutier was refusing interviews on advice from his lawyers. His sole response to the incident was a statement to the press that read: “One thing for sure, fella didn’t learn nothing like that in my book.”

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