Meditations of pokus professionalius (things I know to be true about poker)
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Awhile back I saw the movie 300 at the IMAX in the Palms Casino with two friends of mine. I’d never seen a Hollywood movie in IMAX, just educational titles like ‘To the Moon’ or ‘This Green Earth’ when I was, like, in grade school. Although I really didn’t care for the movie 300, seeing blood and war and naked women on a screen like that was a cool experience.
It’s worth mentioning because when I go on ‘poker trips’ to Vegas, Tunica, etc. I used to never do anything like that. Well, there’s not much to do in Tunica anyway but I never looked either. When I travel, I’m there to play and win. Period. I sleep, try to eat somewhere good and free, play a lot of poker, and occasionally I check my email. Well, alright, sometimes I do find myself in random casino spa, relaxing in the grotto.
Well it got me thinking. On poker trips, I play to win money, but when I come home I have fun and rest. That’s true. So, what else do I know is true for me, the professional poker player? About three weeks ago I started a list. And as I like my expressions to have themes, I wrote it with “The Meditations of Marcus Aurillieus” in mind.
So in no particular order (except the first and last one), here’s a little flesh, a little breath and my 54 reasons to rule all in poker. I hope you enjoy them.
The Meditations of Pokus Professionalius.
For the poker professional, I know these following things to be undisputed and true:
1. You can never win enough
2. Hold’em is a much better game when you don’t need the win
3. When you first get the urge to leave, leave
4. Never slow play a hand that can be out drawn IF you can’t fold to a large raise from a maniac when a scare card hits
5. Get in the habit of carrying only three buy-ins to a game
6. Writing about poker in any form (personal journal, for PTP!, etc) is an unequaled catalyst for positive self-development
7. Do not borrow money to play, even if you have the money near by; should you lose, by borrowing you’re only delaying the losing process
8. If all else fails, change tables; if that doesn’t work, take the night off!
9. Do not stray too far from your original career path or when you bust, you’ll really bust
10. Order the seafood salad or the wienerschnitzel at the Venetian in Vegas, you won’t be disappointed with either
11. When you flop quads, bet
12. On the river when you miss your draw, it can be right to bet
13. On the river when you miss your draw, it can be right to make a massive raise
14. On the river when you miss your draw, it can be right to call but not often enough to make it profitable
15. A big loss has more emotional impact on your psyche than a big win
16. You can play well for six days straight and in the last hour on the seventh day play so bad it ruins your week
17. Gunsmoke is one hell of a TV show
18. Some Harvard study implies that you play poker worse after a large meal, so give yourself an hour or so after the last bite, seriously. It’s science
19. Never drink alcohol when you play
20. When playing live, try not to drink ANYTHING when you have cards in front of you; subconscious needs can be a huge tell if you indulge at will
21. 90% of winning tournament players are big fish in the cash games I play
22. 5% of winning tournament players are smart enough not to play cash games
23. The other 5% of winning tournament players are scary enough to avoid at all costs
24. If you play poker profitably, you need an accountant NOW
25. If you play poker profitably, you need and never stop needing
26. As long as you play for a living, you will live with permanent jetlag
27. Once a hand of poker is played, it can never be played again
28. It’s cooler to quote Steve McQueen than Matt Damon, John Malkovich and/or Edward Norton
29. However, it’s cooler not to quote, and you can quote me on that. Or don’t, but “it be a lot cooler if ya did” – Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
30. Zen and the Art of Poker is not a poker book
31. Never reveal why you did what you did in the middle of the hand. Why you think the way you think is the biggest weapon you have
32. Listen! Players will tell you how to beat them
33. When playing heads up against a coke head, wait for him to run out of coke, then grind him some more. He can not beat his addiction as well as you
34. Never play a micro-limit JUST to hit the bad beat jackpot; it’s not worth your time
35. If you want to learn to play a new game, read at least three books specifically devoted to it; there’s so much crap out there, and so many opinions on how to play, it’s best to over due the education process when your money is at risk
36. If you want to play poker, play poker. If at the table you find yourself watching ESPN, go home. Your couch is much more comfortable
37. Speaking of ESPN, never watch poker on TV unless it’s High Stakes Poker
38. Embrace bad beats as you’d embrace every opportunity to flip a coin for a lot of money with a 70% edge or better. If you don’t embrace them, they will cost you your focus and your money
39. Losing when you’re 51-69% to win is NOT a bad beat
40. Losing when you’re 69-99% to win is NOT a bad beat
41. Bad beats are simply beats, ask for no sympathy and give none
42. Playing poker WILL make you lazier
43. World class poker players don’t get better cards than you, they just play them better more frequently
44. You can not give your heart to a woman and poker at the same time, unless she’s a better player than you
45. We enter the game at zero and without another source of income, we will return to zero several times over
46. You make your money off other’s mistakes. Your skill is what keeps you even in the meantime
47. Poker is a sprint, a marathon and not a race at all
48. It is a lot easier to lose than it is to win
49. In your efforts to stack the idiot, do not become the idiot
50. No limit poker is unique in that rarely is there only one correct way to play a hand on the turn
51. Once you own a man in a game, you always own him
52. It’s better to be unknown and un-owned
53. Remember that if you straddle, you significantly increase your variance in the game, and that can be good, bad and sometimes a lot of both
54. Some play for fun, for money, to socialize, to escape. Above all, know why you play
