Friendly poker?
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I’m rapidly approaching my one-year anniversary of playing poker for a living and among poker authors, this alone is cause for an article. It’s strange to think of this moment as a cause for celebration or even mentioning in an article – seems self serving, like blowing my own horn. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of what I’ve done. I am proud. I survived one year of relying on poker as my sole source of income and that’s something!
And so I’m a year older, a year wiser, and a year more ‘professional.’ I’ve learned a thing or three. But amid all the associated rugged individualism, there’s one topic I feel compelled, nay divinely inspired! to discuss in the glorious manifestation of this article – the idea I’m exorcising is ‘poker friends.’ Before I begin, please know that I feel like I could write a thesis on this subject, so this article may seem incomplete or appear to scratch the surface. It may seem like ‘story telling hour.’ That’s OK. I just want to get the ball rolling.
‘Poker friends’ are those players you see often enough in your usual limit. You know their name. You know where they live. You even know how much they’re up or down for the year. They’re also the people you know you’ll lay down marginal hands to, or fold some draws to when they appear to be strong. Basically, it’s those opponents you play friendly and you know, or hope, will play you friendly in return.
On the surface, the issue seems tame. At the poker table, everyone plays their hand as well as they are capable. The money goes to the guy who plays the best or has the most luck that night. But when you play poker in a room and play there a lot, you’re bound to play against the same people and play them a bunch. And you’re bound to get to know them, maybe become their friend. And you’re going to be playing pots against them with frequency.
However, the idea of making friends at the poker table bumps shoulders with poker ethics (i.e. collusion), polarizes the essence of professional poker (play to make money, period) causing some very awkward situations, and may give you a false impression that these people have YOUR best interests at heart.
Dunking the Drunks
Even when I first started playing for a living, I clearly could pick out who played for fun and who played for a living. And like most work environments, I began to become friends with the guys I worked with. And with plenty of idiots around, being ‘friendly’ meant pros stayed out of pots with pros (for the most part). Is it ethical to cut up the two drunks? Then I wasn’t so sure, but it certainly was, and remains to be, extremely profitable.
So is it cheating or unethical to take shots at the drunks money? Perhaps a hand I played in will illustrate, rather stimulate, some discussion in your head.
Late night 2-5 no limit at the Venetian in Las Vegas, short handed, $500 cap. Three guys are DRIZZUNK, pulling handfuls of black $100 chips from their pockets when they bust. They rotate straddling, get it in with any draw, nearly any black jack hand. You and another pro you know are picking off the bluffs and both are pretty deep considering the situation. You have $2600, the other pro $3250. So far, the hands have played themselves and you two haven’t bumped heads until . . .
You’re in the big blind with two kings. But before the last card hits the button, out of turn the action-junky drunk on your right in the small blind announces he’s going to be all in BLIND for $900. BINGO! First to act after the straddle, the other pro (your friend) says ‘you’re going to be all in? Well, I’m all in then.’ SHIT! And he pushes his stack in. The drunk on the button folds and as promised, the small blind gets it in without even glancing at his holdings. Now it’s your turn. Considering the situation, you think you probably have the best hand. The range of hands you think the other pro is likely to have is AK, AQ, and pocket pairs tens and above. Most unlikely is AA because you believe he’s savvy enough to try to trap some money by limping, then reraising the promised ‘all in.’ There’s still the straddle to act but he’s already slid his cards forward, he’s folding.
If you fold, you risk winning a very large pot. But folding also means you protect a solid win, eliminate the chance of getting sucked out on (or all-in against AA) and you maintain the ‘status-quo’ of friendliness. The hand most likely to beat you is probably the other pro as he has a hand he will commit all his chips on, and if you give him chips, you ain’t seeing them again. If you call and win, well you might lose his ‘friendly’ play tonight, maybe forever.
Tight spot. What do you do?
Well I called because I believed more often than not, I would showdown the best hand and I could justify to the other pro why I called. It’s not very friendly but sometimes business is just business. If he’s the pro I think he is, he will understand. Well we ended up losing $900 each to the idiot when he hit a miracle four card flush, with 5 8 off suit but I won the side pot with KK against the other pro’s QQ. Neither of us had a spade. He shrugged it off and later said by raising all-in, he wanted to let me know he had a big hand so I wouldn’t call with something like Tens or Ace King. And if one of the idiots woke up with a better hand, he knew the money would be live. Fair enough.
After watching two pots go in opposite directions away from him, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out five barneys ($500 chips) and sets them on top of his stack. No one protests, even the dealer who’s not really paying attention. It’s a $500 cap game and he just sat heavy enough to cover the idiot who just tagged us both with a blind hand. Should I say something?
Caps are in effect for a reason and I really enjoy being the only talented player with a big stack in a casino with free alcohol ; ) He coming in for the cap is a very very very good situation for me. His deep buy in affects my profitability because now he can stack the idiot too instead of only tagging him for $500 a time. AND we may get in to another big pot. Instead of facing a $500 call, I may be facing nearly a $3,000 call. Hmm.
Tight spot? What do you do?
I let this one go. I’m familiar enough with no cap games to be able to play deep stack against one talented opponent. Yes, it impacts my profitability but it REALLY impacts his. And as we’re friends, I’d like to see him get these guys if I can’t. After stacking him if I protest his buying deep, I would appear to be acting very greedy and unfriendly. That, between friends, would be rude.
A Short Word on Entitlement
That’s one problem with poker friends. At the table, your friendships are always coupled with awkward feelings of entitlement. Entitlement? How’s that? In the above example, he felt entitled to the courtesy of me not saying anything when he bought in deep. He also felt entitled for me to fold a lot of hands to his all-in raise. And I think it’s safe to say that poker friends, for the most part, feel entitled for you NOT to TRY TO stack them. Sometimes things just happen, like set over set or straight over straight, but if you draw to a gutshot on a clean board heads up against a friend, they’ll probably be pissed if you hit and get their stack. You just don’t expect another pro, who’s a friend, to try to tag you.
How’s that good for you? If a player will pay you off massively when you hit, why WOULDN’T you draw? Statistically speaking, you’re passing up on a very profitable situation. But it’s only profitable once. They’ll never let you get away with it again.
To some of you readers, this whole discussion may sound silly. Poker is poker, no hard feelings. For others, it’s probably all too true. You expect your friends to play you soft and you will them OR you know someone who thinks like that. How do you play a cut throat game against players you don’t want to see dead?
Once in Vegas, I spent about 20 minutes at a table getting to know this guy on my left, who obviously was a pro. I eventually wake up with Aces on the button. I make a ‘I’m stealing’ raise to $30 and he comes over top out of the small blind for $150 total. Everyone folds. I just call (why not?). Flop comes 2-6-7 clean and he bets $200. I raise to $550 total. He’s struggling with this spot and I can see it, so in this moment I honestly think ‘what’s the one thing I don’t want to hear if I were him and I had kings or queens?’
So I say to him,
“What, you got aces?”
“No, you got aces?’ he asks.
“Nope,” I lied through my teeth.
“You flop a set?”
“Nope.” That was the truth.
And he reraises me all-in for another $700. I have no idea what he had because I called so fast and he just mucked when the turn and river didn’t improve his hand. He got PISSED that I lied to him. And I mean REALLY pissed; said ‘never speak to me again you scum.’ Ouch. And I struggled with this. Did I do something wrong? I wasn’t sure but EVERY one of my poker friends (pros) said I should do everything I can to get him to call. One said “we play a game based on deception. He can’t believe anything you say or do.” Another said “what kind of a pro is he? As soon as you opened your mouth I would have mucked anything but a set.” Yeah. But this guy hates me still and we were BARELY poker friends for less than an hour.
And there are other problems associated with poker friends.
A Longer Word on Entitlement
I’ve had some bad nights playing poker. Played just horrible. When I left the house that night, I almost foresaw my destruction on the tables. “I’m not feeling it today. I think I’ll only bring $2,000 tonight instead of $3,000 just in case.” And then I lose the $2,000 to a group of idiots and I REALLY want to get back in to the game. I know I shouldn’t rebuy and forget that I’m playing like an idiot too. But all I have to do is walk over to the other 2-5 NL game, tap my friend on the shoulder and say “Hey (enter friend’s nickname), front me a G. I came short today.”
{Poof!}
Suddenly, with no questions asked, a magical pumpkin, that beautiful oversized yellow chip, or perhaps a firmly folded wad of hundreds APPEARS and I’m jogging to the cage!
An hour later, I’m bust, cursing myself for tapping a G I didn’t even bring with me.
Most often with poker friends, at least the guys I know, we loan, front and borrow money, LARGE amounts of money, like it was nothing. We feel that if we bust, our friends should (that’s entitlement) spot us the cash if they don’t immediately need it. Having money always available is not always good for you, the poker player. And loaning or fronting money to poker friends isn’t always good for you because face it, they’re using it to gamble.
Who Are They Anyway?
I love to take poker trips. And I love to go with someone else, to make the drive shorter or have someone to hangout with in the room when the action’s dead. The company CAN BE nice. The only people willing to go to Tunica MS or BFE Indiana for a week are your poker friends.
However, I’ve made two mistakes when selecting my traveling companion. Once I took off to Tunica and a poker friend wanted to go. I jumped at the opportunity, thinking this dude was a cool guy; we could save on a room. Little did I know he smoked (I’m slightly allergic), messy as hell (left nutshells and candy wrappers EVERYWHERE), and enjoyed going to strip clubs (nothing wrong with that, but it’s not for me AND without telling me he had arranged to meet a stripper back at our hotel room, where I keep a couple thousand bucks and expensive electronics laying around). It wasn’t a good trip for me.
This other time, I had a room at Caesars Indiana during the Denny Crum Event. This guy (a local) was putting me in to the daily tournaments. It’s late and having already busted from the tourney, I’m playing cash games. My backer is playing cash games as well, getting drunk and doesn’t want to drive home. So he asks me for my room key to grab a nap to sober up. No problem, right? No one’s up there and I can play for a few more hours, get some sleep and then play the noon tourney the next day (a $500+50 which he’s paying for). I give him the key.
An hour later, another poker friend asks for my key to go take a shower to freshen up after a monster session. No problem! I’m still going to play another hour and he’d let me shower if I asked. I tell him my backer has the key and he’s in the room napping, just wake his ass up! Well, ten minutes later my friend returns OBVIOSLY without a shower.
“What the f***? Is (name deleted) still sleeping?” I ask.
“Oh, he’s up there, with some chick, and he won’t open the door, and I think they’re smoking up a storm (this friend knows I hate smoking in my hotel room).”
So I call my room from a house phone in the poker room. “Uh, when he got here, I didn’t know what was going on,” he says. “Come on up. She’s leaving right now.”
I’m not the kind of guy to ‘hate’ so I wasn’t mad about the chick. And it’s hard to get mad at the guy fronting your tournament entries for the week. So I just go to the room and get ready to sleep.
When I get there, he’s passed out, SNORING like crazy. I’m really not some sensitive beyach BUT I don’t like smoking in my living space and I’m a light sleeper. So, my allergies start acting up, I get NO sleep before the tourney and tank in the first hour. At least it wasn’t my money.
And on a side note, I knew this guy for two years prior to this. At the time here’s what I thought I knew about my backer – he said he was 28, divorced, owned three houses and played poker for a living. Wrong. He was 32, married with kids, didn’t own even the house he lived in, ran up 50K in credit card debt to get money to play, and recently had ‘fraudulently’ obtained $25,000 to bankroll himself and put me in tournaments. I had NO clue until the guy who ‘invested’ the 25K came looking for it.
I guess I have to end here or I’ll keep rambling. So, my conclusion is this – make as few poker friends as possible, try not to front money to ANYONE you don’t know REAL well, and when you travel it’s best to have your own room. If you have poker friends, be sure you understand their expectations and make sure you’re OK with those expectations. When you’re not, you must express them and get things on a level you’re both comfortable with, or you won’t be friends long.
ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: In the last year playing mostly 2-5 and 1-2 no limit games across the United States, I’ve amassed more than 1300 hours on the tables (all live), lost $3,000 or more on six occasions, only won more than $3,000 in a session twice but recorded only one losing month (August ‘06, ugh). I also have some really incredible hourly rates. For instance, I average $153.05/hr playing 2-5 no limit on weekends in Las Vegas. And I have some really confusing stats (I only averaged about $15/hr in all no limit games at Caesars Indiana, the room I play most). And after my successes, my meltdowns and my experiences, I no longer enjoy the game. I enjoy the freedom playing the game well provides me. I enjoy seeing new places and old ones too. But as well as I know the game, I know I need to get back to the real world.
