All Poker Pros Abandon Hold ‘em For Triple Draw Lowball
LAS VEGAS, NV – Fed up by the recent successes of amateurs in the WSOP main event, a consortium of professional poker players held a news conference today to announce that, effective immediately, they will no longer play hold ‘em. Instead, all professional poker players, including such recognizable names as Johnny Chan, Phil Hellmuth and [...]
Party Poker Offers US Government Massive Signup Bonus
WASHINGTON DC – Government sources here confirmed today that PartyPoker.com has in fact extended a massive signup bonus offer to the US Federal Government.
According to representatives from Party, the UFSG is eligible for a 20% bonus up to $500 million on its initial deposit. “With so much talk of regulation, we thought it would be [...]
Aces Hold Up In 3-6 Game
EVANSVILLE, IN – A sleepy Indiana town has become an epicenter for poker enthusiasts after word leaked out early yesterday that pocket aces held up in a 3-6 limit game run by Evansville’s Aztar Casino.
Sources report that the pair of aces was dealt to Louisville, KY resident Brent “The Beav” Majorton at approximately 11:17 pm [...]
Speakin’ The ‘King’s English’: The Freeroll King’s Guide to Poker Lingo
(Ed note: you can read more from self-anointed “freeroll king” Stever Fuller in his previous articles Freeroll Report: Party New Player Weekly and King’s Hand of The Week: Jacked by Jacks)
Yo.
Speakin’ the King’s English doesn’t mean calling people “thee” and shit. It’s like, this whole new language I made up, and when you speak [...]
After the ban: Ten tips for living
When news of the online gambling ban hit the US internet poker community, the collective strain it put on hearts already weakened by a life of inactivity and the eating of many Funions was enough to kill most other people. What the US government didn’t count on was the character of our community, the [...]
How to beat anyone at poker, anytime
[Ed note: To clarify some terms found in the title: by 'Anyone', Robb actually means 'his friend Dennis'. By 'Anytime', he actually means 'half the time'.]
Dennis is a pretty fragile guy. Ever since his kids died, his focus has been for shit. While I don’t recommend you take advantage of someone at their [...]
Freeroll King Hand of The Week: Jacked by Jacks
You all aren’t gonna believe this shit.
***** Hand History for Game 51726521529 *****
2000 NL Hold’em – Wednesday, June 08, 13:40:59 EDT 2005
Table Play money 4560
Seat 10 is the button
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to FREEROLL KING! [ Jh, Qd ]
blutastie folds.
Shirttail calls [10].
FREEROLL KING! calls [10].
PittSig calls [10].
Fox4855 calls [10].
Rat9Mu folds.
sammyjg calls [10].
pt34playa calls [5].
max_pot [...]
Freeroll Report: Party “New Player” 5k Weekly
Hey all you poseurs and groupies scanning this in hopes of picking just a little grape of genius off the vine that is THE FREEROLL KING’S brain. Oh yeah, as a side note, I put my title in all caps up there to let you know that my name is, like, one of my intellectual [...]
How to play NL tournaments correctly
1. Know your odds. It’s important to understand the concept of “being a favourite”. For example, let’s say you go all-in with a pair of sixes, and are called by an Ace-Two offsuit. You’re a 70% favourite, which means you’re 100% guaranteed to win, every time you will play in this situation. In the [...]
Top five lessons poker players learned from the Safe Ports Act
On September 30th, 2006, the US Senate passed the Safe Ports Act, which included provisions intended to slow the growth of online gambling. The whole experience was a very educational one for poker players – here’s a few highlights of the things we learned:
5) Phil Hellmuth, Mike Matusow and a dude who answers to “Hey [...]
Top five worst poker comebacks
Sometimes when someone insults you at the poker table, you shoot back with the perfect, witty, incisive retort. Then there’s most of the time, when you say shit like this:
5) Oh yeah? Well, your mom draws dead.
4) I may be stupid, but you’re winning.
3) Well, if even a retard wouldn’t make that call, then I [...]
Top five reasons why online poker must be rigged
Oh you didn’t know? We thought everyone knew. I mean why would a business with potential annual revenue in the billions possibly want to run things on the up-and-up? Wouldn’t it be smarter to juice the deck to generate a tiny extra fraction of profit at the potential expense of all those billions? Well if [...]
Top five things you will see at the WSOP this year
The influx of online players not only means the WSOP will get bigger, but also that it will get funnier. Some unique things you’re bound to see at this years World Series:
5) At some point, someone will ask how many seconds they have left in their “time bank”
4) Someone will leave the table during a [...]
Top five poker related lies
Poker players love bluffing so much that they can rarely stop once they leave the table. Some of the more common ‘misrepresentations of reality’:
5) “Just a few more hands and I’ll be done”.
4) “I came out about even”
3) “I have no problem folding AK when it misses the flop.”
2) [While watching poker on ESPN] “See [...]
Top five things not to say at the table
The image you present at a poker table in your local casino is determined by what you say as much as how you play. Some key phrases to avoid at holdem tables:
5) “Hey, at my regular table upstairs, we get three cards dealt to us.”
4) “This one time, in a freeroll…”
3) “Dealer, hold on! One [...]
