Last Things First
It was Monday and it was raining. I woke up around 4 p.m., not really from a deep sleep but more of a long, focused period of eyes-closed time. I was too excited to do any real resting. When my alarm clock on my cell phone chirped, I popped up, turned it off, and within three big steps I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth. Shirt, check. Pants, check. Sweater, in case it gets cold, check. I-Pod fully charged, check. Two buy-ins, check. I grabbed a banana from atop the fridge, kissed my lady goodbye and began the drive.
After losing nearly 75 percent of my bankroll in four days, I took a two week break from the game. Now I was heading back to the office and it had all the feel of my first day at a new job. I was nervous as hell. I kept thinking things like: ‘Am I good enough to do this?’ ‘I hope I don’t screw up too bad.’ ‘What happens if I go bust?’
THAT. I had to consider THAT because THAT meant a ‘real’ first day at a new job, probably waiting tables until I found something in public relations, the field I left to pursue THIS. THIS was better, the hours were better, the pay better (most often), the freedom was better. THIS was a nice lifestyle. THAT, busting and then finding a real job, scares the hell out of me. “You know John in communications? He USED to be a professional poker player. Now look at him.”
So these thoughts are menacing my conscience when the writer in me kicks in. I begin crafting my final article as a poker pro, the “I went bust and here’s why” article. I could see it on Parttimepoker.com in my mind. Big blue headline, a succinct summation from Chris – sadly a solemn but well written column of advice for anyone wanting to play for a living.
I immediately stopped myself.
Back in grad school we discussed the power and realness of the ‘self-fulfilling prophecy,’ a concept that says if a person believes something in their life will happen, subconsciously they promote and enable the thought until it comes to fruition or they stop believing it. Well I don’t want to write that ‘I went bust’ article. I don’t even want to think about it. I’m going to use the power of the prophecy to my advantage.
So, here’s the ‘I went the opposite of bust article.’ It’s what I want to run on Parttimepoker.com when I win so much money playing poker, I become more than a millionaire. The article’s called the ‘Real-ionaire.’ I think I’m the first one to ever use the term Real-ionaire, so you may be witnessing a Balzac-ian moment of literary creation.
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Parttimepoker.com
Johnny writes his final column for Parttimepoker.com and gives his goodbyes to the poker world in Real-ionaire. We’re gonna miss ya.
Real-ionaire
It all started during the 2006 Midwest Poker Classic when I borrowed a $300 buy-in from my banker at the time, my good friend Aaron Clark, and put it into a 1-2NL game. From there, I’ve seen ups and downs, some losing months and some poker friends bust. I’ve had some good meals and great laughs, seen some crazy things too. Thankfully, I had the conviction to right the ship when the seas got rough, most notably after moving to Louisville when I had a bad start to rebuilding my roll playing 1-2NL. I thought I wasn’t going to make it, that I wasn’t good enough to beat this game. How was I wrong!
I rebuilt my poker mansion one big bet brick at a time.
Now I’m a real-ionaire, a term I’ve coined and patented for the really really really rich, the kind of rich that really really makes one a millionaire. This money wasn’t inherited; it wasn’t given to me because of an injury settlement or a lottery ticket. I’m no ‘Will-ionaire,’ a person who received a comfortable living when a family member died. Nope, I earned my wealth one big bet at a time. That’s real.
I’m a fucking real-ionaire. Funny thing to hear? Well it’s a funny thing to say. Want details, I’ll give you details. Just kidding, I’m no Ben Affleck in Boiler Room. I’m just a poker player who almost busted several times. All poker pros should reread that. Almost busted SEVERAL times. Ben also did a great job in the movie about my life called ‘Real-ionaire.’ It’s available on DVD. The Farley Bros exaggerated a bit with the final scene and I want to give Danny some respect. We all know about his ‘open bet’ to play anyone for any amount of money at the Wynn. And it’s true that I challenged Kid Poker to a heads-up game of five-card stud for 100% of his bankroll, which at that time was nearly $11 million. The movie made it seem like he put it all on the line, when he actually put only $8 million in play. I did call a $3 million bet with Ten high, it was the best hand, and yes he did walk away. We’re still friends to this day but I have the honor of ALWAYS buying dinner. Danny’s good, but as long as I’m around he’s only second best.
In a few moments, consider you can consider him “the Man.”
I’m leaving the game after an incredible week playing 1,000-2,000 NL at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. I can’t imagine any game being worth my time anymore. After winning my fifth WSOP bracelet, the one I call the ‘one that gets hung’ (double entendre intended), and several PS4 poker games featuring yours truly, I’ve accomplished all a man can in this game. Anything more would be excessive.
So, I’m off to parts unknown with my beautiful wife Savannah and my seven wonderful children. You can reach me at realionaire@hotmail.com and my assistant’s assistant will pass your message along.
Caio!
Sir John Darr
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I sent this article to Chris, nearly ‘as is’ and he sent it back. He said it didn’t end well and I left the reader hanging. So here’s the best ending I got. It’s best because it’s true.
Sincerely, the idea for this article did come to me on my way to play for the first time since I’d lost an ass-load of my roll. On that drive I was focused, I was pumped, and I was ready to get back to work.
I lost $1,300 that night and left confused, upset and ready to look for another job. Several steps closer to ‘almost busting.’ Several steps closer to becoming the Real-ionaire.
In the two weeks since then, I lost a bunch more, felt more confused, then recovered some and felt relieved, lost again and felt desolate, then recovered a bunch and felt like a pro. A fortnight and I’m back to where I started, neither up nor down since my return to the game and you know what? Even never felt so good.
Real-ionaire. Use it, give me credit. Together we can create a new word.
