ABC Adds “Poker” to the Title of Entire Fall Lineup

BURBANK, CA – In a move apparently designed to cash in on the growing popularity of televised poker, struggling ABC Networks announced today that, effective immediately, the word ‘poker’ would be added to each and every show in ABC’s current fall prime time lineup.

According to Anne Sweeney, the recently appointed president of ABC Television Network, the abrupt change was “just one of those things you have to try when you’re a 4th place network. Look, we were fucked, bottom line. You have any better ideas?”

Sweeney then interrupted the conversation briefly to debate with a colleague about whether NYPD Blue should be renamed “NYPD Poker”, “Poker Blue” or just “Poker.”

Most analysts agree that televised poker was already approaching a saturation point before the ABC decision, with ESPN, Bravo, the Travel Channel and Fox, along with a few other cable outlets, consistently producing a stream of poker-related programming. “The public was willing to put up with ESPN showing minor WSOP events like seven stud hi/lo,” commented Mark Strauss, media analyst for Omniglobo Markets. ” But I have a feeling to public will draw the line when they see the first ad for ABC’s “Funniest Poker Home Videos.”

Other notable title changes to ABC’s lineup: Lost (Poker), Hope & Faith & Poker, The Poker Bachelor, Extreme Makeover: Poker!, and 8 Simple Rules for Poker.

The ABC website has been updated to reflect the new schedule and slogan: “ABC – We’re All In!”

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